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There's Always Something So Tragic

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Tuesday, December 21st, 2004
2:27 pm
i can see the spanish entry is getting a lot of comments. como se dice "really really pointless"? love the yorke and michalchuk though.

last night me and paige talked LATE into the night. it was MUY BUENO! and let me put it on the record: paige michalchuk is one of the few un-sluts at degrassi. her and spinner went out FOR-EV-ER. i wouldnt call what went on an act of sluttery.

anyways, my date last night went much better than the first one. god... he's so cute. and nice. ark. i hate having feelings for more than one person. its the worst thing in the world. i can't decide right now. its undecideable.

oh, today i went over to paigey's house en el manana and made her las galletas! y we went shopping! how fun. we got a few good gifts, i MUST say.

ciao, marco

current mood: cold... I LOVE THE COLD

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Monday, December 20th, 2004
9:33 pm
MY FREAKING GOD MY AIM SUCKS SO BAD. paige, stay online, i want to tell you about my date. ill be on in thirty minutes (its 12:33 right now).

ARG.

marco

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6:28 pm
ew. i'm all congested. its so gross.

ive decided to go on another date with logan, even though i still have strong feelings for dylan.

i think all my feelings are on the extremes right now, just, you know, an emotional time and what not.

and i liked him. he was nice. he was my age. not that thats a deal breaker or anything but it helps.

god i'm sick.

and i have to go on a date in thirty minutes.

oh crap.

ciao, marco

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Saturday, December 18th, 2004
2:18 pm
wow. friday was just, all out intensity. we had these counseling session things, they helped a lot.

ellie, i love you, come over if you feel up to it.

((ooc: it seems like we're missing a LOT of characters, like ones who havent updated. im not sure how important sean is now, but like jay, alex, etcetera havent updated in a while. jimmy too, but i dont know if he'd be updating anyways. i notice jt, emma, paige, dylan, and craig are all really active. i don't really know, i figure the updating will die down over this little "break" the stupid N is having, but i feel like we could have a lot over drama over that time and basically do whatever. thats always way fun.))

ciao, marco

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Wednesday, December 15th, 2004
9:07 pm
paige came over, which was nice. my mom and dad have been mellow about letting me do whatever i want since it happened. we just talked about everything and it was good to have someone around who feels as confused and empty as you. we went to the hospital. he just looks... asleep. its finally set in that this is all real.

we dont have to go back to school yet. we're having one day this friday just to... reconnect with everyone, and then we get the weekend.

oh, and i forgot to mention the date. the oh so infamous date [on this thursday past, for those of you who didnt hear]. logan's been calling me, i guess he heard about it on the news. i havent called him back. i mean, hes a nice--really nice really great-- guy, but he's never met jimmy, or rick, and we went on one date. maybe ill talk to him online sometime about it, he seems like a good listener.it went well, i suppose, and while i feel like i should be spending most of my time at the hospital, i feel like i need someone for me right now. not that anyone would want me in this sad depressed condition.

and it all sucks so badly, maybe, but you have no idea how great it felt to hear that there was some improvement in jimmy's condition. it made my day into a day that i actually felt i could go to sleep after.

ciao, marco

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Saturday, December 11th, 2004
7:06 pm
I havent been able to talk since it happened.

some people have called to ask if i'm okay and really, i can't say anything. it's like my throat has closed together and no voice to come out. so i thought id just type out whats going on in my head so you all can have some idea as to whats going on.

really it's just chaos in my brain. like there are all the brain cells swimming faster every time i think about it. it just hurts to think about it. my heart starts to beat faster and theres nothing i can do. i try to forget about it and think about other things, but then jimmy being wheeled into the ambulance and hazel coming back into class telling us what happened just keeps playing over and over.

i won't be okay untill i know jimmy is safe. and better.

and my god, rick. i never wanted him here, but i didn't make his life a living hell either. i didn't publicly embarass him in front of all of his peers. i just... have no opinion on his death. i wish he could have been alive to see all the shit he's caused. and felt the guilt he deserved.

my god, jimmy.

i don't plan on leaving the house anytime soon. if anyone wants to come over thats fine. i need someone right now. but im not getting dressed and leaving.

my mom even talked about moving. moving. i can't just... go somewhere else after all i've been through here.

i talked her out of it.

i can't stop thinking about all the times i had with jimmy when i had a fucked up life and didn't know what to do with myself. and he never called me names or fought with me or tried to change me, he was always sincere and always a great friend. i have to be a great friend for him, now, as well. ill leave this house and go to the hospital and sit with hazel and paige and then come home. and ill do it every day and ill stay there however long i have to. i want to.

ciao, marco

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Wednesday, December 8th, 2004
5:18 pm
so, jt's partyy tongiht. i think i'm pretty emo acting, but i put on some black and eyeliner and stuff anyways.

im going on my date tomorrow instead of two weeks from now. i hate waiting for so long. so i guess ill update about that tomorrow after it happens.

this week is most definitley been an improvement over last week, but still sucky. i'm still getting over everything.

hopefully the party will help.

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Sunday, December 5th, 2004
1:10 am - stolen from jt

it seems like no one updates anymore! and sorry i'm only on late at night
but heres something fun.

1. Copy and post in your LJ.
2. BOLD anything that is true.
3. Leave plain anything that is not true.
4. Add something.

el surveyCollapse )

ciao, marco

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Friday, December 3rd, 2004
10:13 pm
Sooo, i guess since jt has told you all, yes! it's true! they were friends with fun on the side! but seriously, i don't understand how dating can be better. whatever, i guess, that's their thing.

i have a date two weeks from tomorrow (saturday). some guy named logan. andy is making me. i can always call it off a suppose. i don't know yet. dylan doesnt want me to, but i think i should.

dylan, call me, i feel bad about all the shit i've said and really, you may deserve a little, but you didn't deserve all that. i'm still mad though. but i want to be friends.

ciao, marco.

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Sunday, November 28th, 2004
10:00 pm
i feel a bit better. my good friend andy came over. i love lesbians. actually, she's proclaimed herself straight once, lesbian three times, and bisexual like every day. but i love her for her. she's so cool. she just sat with me and moped with me and made me laugh bunches. and she's already talking about hooking me up with someone new, which i'm really not up for. at least not anytime soon.

she's the greatest though. she says i need more fag hags. she'll hook me up with those too. "You're out, you're fabulous, and you most definitley have a great sense of style. A total catch. If you werent so turned off by my vagina I think i'd have to fuck you senseless." --andy

then paige came over. someone i can be mopey with! it was great. we watched depressing movies and got all warm and toasty under a blanket because it is absolutley FREEZING. after the first movie we went scrounging around in my garage and found a log and lit a fire and it was all together very christmasy. we watched its a wonderful life and i feel like i'm not appreciative enough. i love you all, you're the best friends ever, yadda yadda, without you i'd be roadkill.

then we made hot cocoa and watched love actually. i really feel lonely.

then she had to go. and here i am. i think ill go to sleep and not look forward to school tomorrow. it's going to be cold.

ciao, marco

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3:55 pm
i sound mean, but i really dont care.Collapse )

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2:18 pm
i feel like crap. dylan made out with some guy this weekend. i don't know if he was drunk, i don't really care, but i told him that we should see other people if he can't keep his tongue to himself.

apparently he can't.

i want to be friends with him, he's a great guy and he's helped me through a lot, but right now i'm too angry to just be friends.

paige, come over and we can be big blubbering babies over our breakups together.

i think i'm gonna call andy. she can come over and help me out. lesbians make the best of friends.

today sucks, and i don't feel like helping anyone else with their problems. usually i'm all for it. sorry if i'm cranky.

good then, i guess i'll go cry now.

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Friday, November 26th, 2004
9:17 pm
paige, come over pronto, you need some love.

i can't blame her though. spin, you were pretty dumb tonight.

ciao, marco

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Tuesday, November 23rd, 2004
5:11 pm
this week so far has been pretty awesome!

on sunday night dylan brought me dinner, aww, what a sweetheart. unfortunatley my parents were having a party so we had to go somewhere else to eat. it was way more romantic, anyways.

i really like him a lot. :)

my mom just told me that my aunt and uncle from new york are coming to celebrate thanksgiving? i hope they know thanksgiving in canada was a while ago. i guess we're making a whole dinner just because they're coming. my cousin andy... yaaaay (sarcasm). he's my age but super obnoxious. hE tYpEzzz lYkE dIs, and thinks we're best friends and he loves to tell me about the girl who he likes or likes him or he's dating and how "FOINE HER BOOTY BE." that's unnecessary. maybe he's changed in a year? but doubtful.

but my aunt and uncle are the greatest. they're like these big new yorker mob people, reminds me of the sopranos but without the murdering and what not.

well, i wont be getting days off from school so i guess andy will be hanging out in my room and on the computer. eughgh, that's so gross. i just hope he doesnt get on aim. if you see any retards, assume it's not me.

ciao, marco

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Thursday, November 18th, 2004
11:31 pm
sorry guys i havent updated in a while... actually come to think of it i have, just you guys update so much it makes ME look bad. lol. i love you all like sisters or vital organs!

lets make like a tree and leaf.

ciao, marco.

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Monday, November 15th, 2004
9:10 pm
i love hanging out with ellie, she is my favorite.

we went to eat and stuff and then we hung out at seans for like twenty minutes when he wasnt there. i love the ferret! name it though! and then we went to MY place and i changed and showered because i felt dirty and then we went to see a movie but decided to leave halfway through because it was TERRIBLE. absolutley the worst movie ive ever seen EVER. kids, i suggest non of you go to see "The Revenge of the War Creatures", because really theres no war creatures, or revenge. dont waste your money. it wasnt even laugh at-able. it was just bad. but i love el so i had fun anyways.

school's starting to get a little more challenging. we actually have over an hour of homework each night.

anyways, gotta read for the kwan-ster.

ciao, marco

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Saturday, November 13th, 2004
4:42 pm
last night i went to dylans. i'm not a very good "slave" (not a love slave, for those of you who were questioning). i spilled juice all over his carpet. whoopsie. he said that it was okay, its already a disgusting brown. i never want to live in a dorm room.

thats it for now.

ciao, marco

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Wednesday, November 10th, 2004
7:41 pm
so i lost a bet to dylan and now i have to be his "slave" for an evening sometime. it can't be THAT bad. wink wink nudge nudge. heh.

marcoplaysbass: and how you treating spinner?
xox hon PAiGE: oh, fabulously of course!
xox hon PAiGE: i love my honeybee. :-)
marcoplaysbass: i know
xox hon PAiGE: lol.
marcoplaysbass: i love my... uh... dylan
xox hon PAiGE: lol! we need to get dylan a pet name for you.
marcoplaysbass: uhh, id rather not
xox hon PAiGE: aww okay.
xox hon PAiGE: i know you would secretly love it though ;-)
marcoplaysbass: because calling someone "cupcake" really does it for me

good ol' paige.

life is going rather well for me right now. when i dont have school work, home isnt stressful and social life isnt stressful like last year, so i'm pretty much having the best time ever as a grade 11. lets just hope it doesnt get any worse. arg. its nice just having a while to kick back and enjoy life. practicing for college. oh yeah, except the impossible work load. but at least i'll be away from degrassi. this school is getting a TAD bit old, except for the PEOPLE of course whom i just love to death.

and of course dylan, but you all knew that.

i think i should be getting off.

ciao, marco!

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Saturday, November 6th, 2004
12:19 pm
some girls are the WEIRDEST.

so last night i went out with my friend andy and some of her friends, heather (not sinclaire paige, dont worry), britney, and penny. apparently by five minutes into meeting them all penny had a huge crush on me. i could kinda tell something was up with her but i didnt figure out she liked me untill about an hour later when andy and i were getting popcorn (saw paige! love her!) and she told me. paige thought it was hilarious and i did too because i havent had it happen in a LONG ass time. and well andy knows i'm gay but she didn't want to burst penny's poor bubble. then at dinner britney told her (she had either figured it out or heard about me) and i think penny was a little embarassed but i gave her a kiss on the cheek and told her not to worry about it and that it happens a lot (which it doesnt, but oh well) and then they all got all giggly. girls confuse me.

then andy dropped me off and my DAD got all giggly because i'd just spent the evening with a bunch of girls. he called me a ladies man a couple of times, then started singing to himself very loudly in italian and walked away. boy, was HE jovial. i didn't want to deal with him anymore so my mom scooped me some ice cream and i told her about the whole night and she just laughed. and then i went to bed. and had another weird dream about amusement parks and stuff. so andy, you have got to call me. only, maybe not any other of your friends who don't know about me next time.

and ellie, yeah we TOTALLY have to get together because i miss you now that i don't see you that often. but you're still my best friend and i love seeing you! so hit the cell. we can go to the dot after school this week sometime! and then hang out or something.

ciao, marco!

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Friday, November 5th, 2004
5:15 pm
i see at school that the drama has died down and that makes me pretty happy because i hate drama. a lot.

i want to write another play but a lot better than my last one which just... didn't go well for reasons out of my hands but oh well. i probably never will. eh, whatever.

i wish i had something i was REALLY good at. i mean, being pretty good at a lot of stuff isnt all that exciting. well, im a damn good stud, i guess.

i havent talked to a lot of my old OLD friends and last night my friend andy (girl) called and oh how i miss her so! so me and her and a couple of her friends i dont really know are going out tonight. i love meeting new people. yay.

oh! and i had a date with dylan this week. it was fun. we just got some burgers and then hung out in his dorm and watched some really bad but amusing movie. it was fun. i love dates. and boyfriends. how they come in handy!

well, i should go shower and get ready! i'm pretty excited.

ciao, marco

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